Have you ever looked around and noticed how everyone you knew growing up has changed and grown. People you remember as little kids getting married and having a passel of kids of their own. Doesn't it seem weird sometimes? I think it seems so weird to me because I don't have any kids. It makes me feel like the odd one. I'm almost 31, been married going on 6 years, but I don't have the want to have children of my own. People don't even ask 'When are you gonna have kids?'. I figure people just think I'm infertile and maybe I am. Like three years ago I was diagnosed with Polycystic Ovary Syndrome. Cysts form in your ovaries and go away on their own. It can make getting pregnant difficult. I also don't ovulate like the normal woman. After we found out we figured we'd give it a shot. I got off the pill and we just gave the situation to God. Evidently He had other plans because like a year later there was no baby. My medicine got changed and I had bad side effects. I was moody, depressed and wanted to self harm. I was too unstable to be trying for a baby so I got back on the pill and focused on myself. Now two years later, I'm in the best health mentally that I've ever been in and still no want for a baby. Does this make me weird? I don't think so, but when you grow up with the mindset that your supposed to get married and have kids when you stray from that path you don't feel like you fit the mold. Sometimes I think we should try, just because of our age. I don't want to be old when my kid finally graduates. But, if I'm not ready why force it? I figure one of these days my mother genes will kick in and I'll be baby crazed. Then we'll actually find out if I'm able. But until then I'll just watch everyone else have babies and I'll mother my three doggy children. I may be one of the odd ones, but I've kinda always have been.
